For the social benefit of a better informed publick
Let it be knowne that in the course of History, it often becomes necessary that a Brave and Enlightened People must dissolve those bands of Political Power which have connected them to another and which hitherto They have not been well acquainted with. These People then must assume the separate and equal station which they so obviously deserve. And though These People might declare that They are Equal, They are, in troth, being quite facetious, as They know that They are muche smarter and more physically attractive than Those People who had once bound them. There is no denying such things.
With this being the Only and Most Obvious Truth, we, the Residents of Potatoworld (ages 9-10 yrs.) now take it upon Ourselves to declare that we shall be making a declaration at the Shepherdstown War Memorial Building on Friday, April the Fourteenthe from Four to Seven o’ Clock. Our Independence, being the only thing which shall Satisfye Us, shall last Two to Three Hours, we being a people of little patience and short attention spans with a desire to Declare Independence Multiple Times rather than one Singular Time.
At This Towne Halle Meetinge, the Art and Culture of Potatoworld shall be made knowne to the Publick in the form of paintings, drawings, a mappe, a flag, and written documentes whiche include stories and Philosophick Treatises.
Our Great Leaders shall be observing this Towne Halle Meetinge, and will Graciouslie Accepte Anie Questione Whiche Suits Their Fancye. Any Questiones which are deemed Treasonable to Potatoworld shall be flatly denied, and the Asker shall be Deservedly Mockede.
Refreshementes and Digestives Shall Alsoe Bee Servede.
This beeth Oure Statement to the Understanding Publick; Let the Glorie and Strengthe of Potatoworld Reigne Throughoute The Worlde!
Patrick Facemire, Stenographer to Potatoworld
Date: April 14th, 2017
Time: 4:00 7:00 p.m.
Place: Shepherdstown War Memorial Bulding, Shepherdstown, WV, 25443