Get ready to down the tailgate fare and to bask in the reflected glory of what West Virginia University's team does on the field. Courtesy photo

SHEPHERDSTOWN — Instant gratification. That’s what all college football fans want from the team/s they give their hearts to on Saturday.

Don’t give them the blather about “high energy guys,” “team players with miles of enthusiasm” or “you’ll see the strides he’s made after getting in the weight room.”

Instant gratification. Win now. Win often. Beat the detested rival. Get us to a bowl game, and make us happier than the co-worker who went to another rival school.

Never mind you have a first-year coach inheriting a team of discontented players, who were quietly happy when the previous coach left town.

Never mind the roster you inherited had few useful players, only bare-bones depth and few proven skill players.

The guy now coaching your team obviously has a bright football mind. He won a ton of games at his previous place of employment. Therefore, he must be able to identify talent and then recruit that talent to his unequaled university.

And since recruiting is the life blood of college football, his revamped roster has to be full of talented (i.e winning) football players. Those players won’t get hurt, will never be outmatched by the Oklahoma’s or Texas Longhorns on the schedule and will only grow in productivity as they mature “in the system.”

Get ready to down the tailgate fare and to bask in the reflected glory of what the team does on the field.

Nothing — like a loss or six — can go wrong. The winter won’t be without a bowl game of some sort.

The non-starters will grow in ability by leaps and bounds.

The changed offensive and defensive systems still being learned by the first-year starters will be mastered by the time the conference schedule gets here.

Only a few of the now-departed from 2018 will be missed. Almost all of the numerous first-year starters will grasp college football’s nuances and be productive.

We will stripe the stadium. We will relish the Gold Rush. The beer will flow in our direction. All the game’s breaks will cascade over our bodies and we will win all the close games.

What could possibly go wrong?

Instant gratification . . . or don’t send me missives asking for donations to the athletic fund or alumni and “friends” contributions of any kind.

Hail victory. Hail Saturdays in the stands toasting touchdowns and high-fiving neighbors.

What could possibly dampen the anticipation of the 2019 college football season?